SLIPPAGE
A Motional Poem by Zachar Laskewicz


 

 

1.

No
One
Knows
Where
I
Am
In fear
Of slipping
Into
No
Where
And
Struck
Dumb
Beneath the weight
Of my subversion
I
Think
I
Am dissipating
Vaguely


2.

But
Suddenly
Anything
Real
Is becoming
Illusion
And
Now
There
Are
All
These delirious lies
Here
Drilling Themselves
Wilfully
Into truth

3.

What
Is
The meaning
Of this deceit
Casting
Such glorious shadows
Onto
That intricate set
Of inscriptions
I
Thought
I
Was
Thus
Obscuring
Them
From
Me


4.

So
Sweet
Is
This wicked coven
Of deception
Expanding
Now
Inside
Me
That
I
Am
Helplessly
Floating
Upwards
Maybe
This ecstatic growth
Is
Some kind
Of truth
After all


5.

I
Have burst
Into pungent bloom
And
My heart
Is
Now
Soaring
Blissfully
On the fumes
Expelled
By the hidden wound
Of this fiction
I
Think
I
Am becoming
This fiction

6.

Still
Exuding
Radiance
While
Puffing out
That old delusion
Of something
Truly
Eminent
Tangible
Absolute
Safe
And
Pure
My giddy flight
Is beginning
To totter
Over its Discrepancies
Yet
It
Is
Still
Shuddering on
Precariously
Nonetheless


7.

Then
It
Takes
But
A tiny prick
Of derision
To puncture
This bag of tricks
To abort
This ghost pregnancy
To slough off
This crusty sack
Of bled-out scars
Which
Was suckling
On the milk
Of my insecurity
And
Naked
Now
I
Am plummeting
Downwards
To
Where
You
Ensnared
Unknowingly
Grapple
To retain
Whatever
It
Is
You
Still
Have
Of yourself
Leftover


8.

Now
After that lofty plunge
My teeth
No longer
Chattering
My eyes
Returning
From an ecstatic glaze
It
Dawns
Upon me
That
The mundane distortion
Of my memory
Has exorcised
Out of existence
Those joyful delusions
And
Through
The fading mist
Of that extinction
I
Am
Apprehensively
Gazing
At exactly
Where
It
Is
I
Am


9.

Yes
I
Remember
Here
On fantasy’s precipice
They
Have constructed
Something
Not quite
Real
It
Is
An order
Which
Is fuelled
By the effort
Of our compliance
And
To ensure
The maintenance
Of this rigid artifice
They
Mute
Their insubordinates
Stifle
Their unwilling Eccentrics
Blind
Our industrious acts
Of creation
And
Are
Thus
Able
To nullify
Any
Attempts
To resist
It
Nothing
Here
Will
Ever
Change


10.

In yearning
For that painless Illusion
I
Have released
The grip
Of my defiance
And
I
Am sliding
Away
From
You
Now
Towards
The dreadful
Realisation
That
Anything
Truly
Real
Can
Be
Nothing
More
Than
This slippage


11.


At
Least
I
Am
Betraying
No
One
To the infernal
Clunking
Machine
So
Vile
It
Finds
Some kind
Of fulfilment
In our oppression


12.


How
Absurd
Was
The conception
That
The ridiculous
Flight
Of fancies
I
So
Enthusiastically
Constructed
Could actually
Help expose
The way
They
Obfuscate
The sense
Of Real
Belittle
Clarity
And
Construct
That nasty set
Of expectations
Which
Slurs
Everything
We
Are


13.


If
You
Think
Resisting
The current
Of this pretence
As
It
Demands
Our conformity
Is
Hard
Remember
That
Drowning
In this tepid pool
As
It
Chews
Up
Creativity
And
Spits
It
Out
Like a bad egg
Is
Effortless
It
Is
Just
Too
Easy

14.


Yes
Finding
In silence
A muted release
You
Too
Will become
A dark hollow
Passive
Silent
Empty
Absent
Willingly
Powerless
They
Will
Swallow
You
Alive
And
You
Will become
An effigy
You
Limp
Puppet


13.


Through
The tight cleft
Of your slippage
I
Have found
Refuge
And
Deep
Inside you
I
Am rejoicing
This dissolution
Into the delicate tangle
Of
What
You
Were


16.

No
One
Knows
Where
I
Am
Except
For me
That
Is
Because
I
Know
I
Am
You
Or
We
Are
No
One
No
Where
No
More

First draft made in April 2006, Sint-Niklaas.

Last alteration made 22 December 2007, Ghent (Belgium).

 

0703-SLI
SLIPPAGE (A Motional Poem by Zachàr Laskewicz)

 

 

May 2008 Nachtschimmen Music-Theatre-Language Nightshades, Ghent (Belgium)
Send mail to zachar@nachtschimmen.eu with questions or comments about this website.


Last modified:
16 May 2013
zzz

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